What Are The Chances Of Getting HIV Through Fingering And Through Oral Sex?

Posted on Wed, 6 Feb 2013

Question: I dated a 56 year old woman about three times. I never had sex with her but I did finger her and she gave me oral sex one time. I was stupid to have even started and it NEVER will happen again, so help me God. I requested that she have an HIV test done. She said that she had been to her OB/GYN doctor. She had a copy faxed to her house and the test for the HIV 1/2 showed negative. I have a copy of the test results but what if she lied. I had the flu and it is some better but still don’t feel too good. At my place of employment a Wellness Associate checked my blood and she said that it was the best one all day. This has been about eight weeks ago. I went to the doctor and he tested me for strep and it came back negative. I have not had a fever at all and no swollen lymph nodes. My back of my neck hurts and under my ears lobes. I have not had any other symptoms other than I am worried and sometimes I don't want to eat because of worry. The lymph nodes are small, not tender and i can move them. I just can't take it anymore and I am too afraid to go and get tested. If anything came back other than negative I would kill myself at the testing center. Help!!!
Under my arm pits burns, but there are no swollen lymph notes.

Answered by Dr. Sankaranantham Murugan (1 hour later)

Hi,

Thanks for you query.

The chances of getting HIV through fingering and through oral sex are very negligible only.

I do not feel any one can get a fake result from a renowned medical laboratory so easily. Each and every laboratory is governed by rules and laws of the country which prevents them from giving fake results with a purpose. So I don't think she would have obtained a fake test results. So you can rely her test result as an absolute one.

Besides that, as I have mentioned earlier the chances of getting HIV is very meager through oral sex and by fingering. The rate of transmission is very low even from an HIV positive individual. So you can relax totally, don't have negative thoughts.. All your symptoms are due to ordinary throat infection and you will be fine in a few days.

Confidently consult your physician for your throat infection and get well soon and forget about your past experience.

Hope I have been assuring. Let me know if you need further clarifications.

Dr S.Murugan

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Prasad

Follow up: Dr. Sankaranantham Murugan (21 hours later)

I sit her crying and writing this letter to you. I am a school teacher of 24 years and I do not want it hurt any of my students. They are worried about me. I don’t even feel worthy of being a teacher anymore. Toward the end of the day my back starts to burn just below my neck. My son tells me that it is my nerves and all of my worries are in my head. Where can you hurt from your worries and are mine all psychosomatic. I can’t even sleep at night for worrying; even sleeping in the closet does not help. The only reason that I do this is because it reminds me of the mistake I made when laid in her bed for about fifteen minutes. I hate myself. The only time I feel comfortable is when I am in the classroom teaching, but I just can’t get it off of my mind. I have even gotten to the point that I am punishing myself by slapping my face ten of fifteen times on each side until I have bruised blood blisters. Do you think that it would be ok if my 30 year old son who lives with me of which I am driving him crazy to go and talk to her; he said he would and is lying a federal offense in this situation. I have thoughts of suicide and I have left everything that I own to my son. Killing myself is better than living.

Answered by Dr. Sankaranantham Murugan (1 hour later)

Hi,

Thanks for writing back.
It is not so serious thing as you imagine. It is a phase and you need to let it go. Oral sex with a woman, that too, a HIV nonreactive woman is not at all infectious.

Sexual feeling is an instinct and an natural urge. No body can overcome and have a total abstinence.
You need not send your son to talk to her. Get over this suicidal tendency. You were born for better things. HIV is no more a dreaded disease as it used to be. It is a manageable disease. If one gets infected he can very we live comfortably for at least another thirty years with the disease as wonderful treatments are available, without revealing to anybody else.
If it is so, why should you have to worry when there is no chance to get the disease?

The only way to get relieved from your worries is to XXXXXXX a physician experienced with HIV disease and get done a HIV DNA PCR test to ascertain that you are not infected. After seeing a negative result, you can relax and ease yourself and concentrate on your daily routine.

Once again I am assuring that there is no chance for you to get the HIV infection.
Dr S.Murugan

Note: Get personalized answers to your HIV related queries You can choose to talk face to face with your doctor. Book a Video Call now.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Aparna Kohli