What Causes Aggressive And Tempramental Nature In A Person?

Question : hello. I have been with this guy for 17 yrs. been a long hard time. Hes different from most people. I have hard time explaining it. we can never have a normal converstion. ever! ever!.It only goes well If I were to basically stay quiet and agree with everything or only ask brief questions. If I were to join the conversation he will get with attidude and correct or disagree or argue everthing I would say to whatever topic it would be. Its like he always misunderstands me when I talk and/or he dominates or controls it and gets mad very easily and it always turns into a fight...always. by the end its screaming, swearing and calling names and putting me down. (not me ,him doing it to me).everything seems to be about what he likes or wants. he is very opinionated with everything. cant seem to allow anyone to like or enjoy their own thing without putting it down or insulting it if he doesn't like it.He will always interupt and never allow for me to finish a sentence before starting to pick at what im saying. He will hear part of it and take those words and go with it before I even finish and act out angrily before knowing what i even meant. If I try to explain to him he will keep interupting in rage or fustration, and say im arguing,etc. he is always negative. and hateful. miserable. He never allows room for discussio0n or room for opinion. He forgets things and always claims i never told him or said it. He has very bad memory and also claims things have happened in the past that havent...He is just different from anyone I ever met or known. I describe it as hes not normal. He doesnt talk or communicate like normal people. He misinterprets things ..Its like he doesnt know the english language, like how people use or interpret things or ways when they speak.( I am having a hard time explaining this). He is very moody, he critisizes. He is not working and having a hard time getting to work. He works as salesman (door to door) but always has excuse, no money, bad weather, too sore, etc...He has admitted he has a hard time getting out and doing it, and dealing with people. Also he is bad for wanting and starting a project but not completing it. He also has no patience at all. If he says something and you didn't hear him he will get fustrated if he has to repeat it. If he says something and you dont understand and ask him to explain he gets fustrated and if you still dont understand it will end up with him angry,and could very well turn into a fight or argument. I sometimes think its like he has a split personality or something. I can rarely get his full undivided attention. I know when I am talking to him he doesn't listen to me thorougly. I see it and when I ask if hes listening , he gets moody and says yea .Im listening, but if a couple days later I would ask about that particula conversation he will say , it never happened or I never said that..etc..He gets agitated easily, and worries over little things. He makes situations bigger then they are, exagerates a lot. he has severe anxiety. worries over the oddest things sometimes. Acts out dramatically,even if its normal things that occur.His mother is a very different individual as well. I have been dealing with this for many years and I know hes not normal I guess that is why I keep taking him back and trying. But now after this many years all the pain, and bad memories, things he said and says He is very vulgar, brutal with words. He says its all me that i am the one with the problem, not remembering things or paying attention, or hearing etc...And all the years he actually acts out as if I am the one with the big problems that I have caused him all this pain and suffering. He really beleives himself. He truly acts out to me as if I am this horrid person who he has put up with all these years! The only thing ive ever done in this relashionship was explain myself or defend myself to him,and bite my tongue to keep from making things worse. but however I am only human and have argued back and done my fair sharte of trying to makew my point about him being with a problem. I am to a poiunt where my nerves arew shot andalso I now have a 16 yr old daughhter that is exactly the same. he lives with his mother now and I have opur daughter with me aND its as if I am still living with him. She treats me the same rude disrespectful way. I have done reasearch many times over the years trying to find an answer to what this is, and symptoms show many things. I decided I would try to ask someone with this explanation. sorry for the typos (lol) I hope you have an answer for me or can help lead me to something. My daughter is the same way, and I will not allow her to go through life this way like her dad has. I want to do everything I can to help her, so she can live a happy healthy life. I want that for both of them. Thank you for your time in reading my letter. If you need more info or examples let me know :)

p.s please excuse the spelling, I typed fast and top of my head, and would take forever to go back through to correct. (lol) XXXXXXX