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What Causes Painful Intercourse And Difficulty In Getting Orgasms?
Question: I am having sex with my wife twice in a week due to out of station job posting. its been almost 6 months but still we have not been able to loose our virginity. My erected penis size is almost 3 inches. Please suggest. We're getting physically furstrated day by day
Brief Answer:
please provide more details
Detailed Answer:
Hello,
Thanks for writing to us.
No successful intercourse even after 6 months of marriage is really distressing. I can understand your concern. You use sildenafil as well as 3 inches of erect penis is there.
3 inches penis is sufficient to satisfy a woman in general.
You mentioned that due to out of station job posting you have sex twice a week.
I need to know some detail about your problem to help you further.
- What do you do? (Job Detail). How much do you satisfy with your job? Do you feel any work related stress?
- How much time do you spend with your wife apart from sex? Do you go for outing or take dinner together like that?
- What is education of you and yours wife?
- Is there any past history of sex before marriage? If yes provide details
- How do you proceed for sex? What exactly happens when you attempt sex?
- Do you have any habit of smoking or alcohol?
I will be happy to help after your response.
Regards,
Dr.Chintan Solanki.
please provide more details
Detailed Answer:
Hello,
Thanks for writing to us.
No successful intercourse even after 6 months of marriage is really distressing. I can understand your concern. You use sildenafil as well as 3 inches of erect penis is there.
3 inches penis is sufficient to satisfy a woman in general.
You mentioned that due to out of station job posting you have sex twice a week.
I need to know some detail about your problem to help you further.
- What do you do? (Job Detail). How much do you satisfy with your job? Do you feel any work related stress?
- How much time do you spend with your wife apart from sex? Do you go for outing or take dinner together like that?
- What is education of you and yours wife?
- Is there any past history of sex before marriage? If yes provide details
- How do you proceed for sex? What exactly happens when you attempt sex?
- Do you have any habit of smoking or alcohol?
I will be happy to help after your response.
Regards,
Dr.Chintan Solanki.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
Thanks sir for your reply.
I am an architect and my wife is a software engineer. I am overall satisfied with my job and there's only usual official work pressure and stress.
In the weekends me and my wife used to spend almost the whole day together. We used to go for outing, movies, shopping in the weekends.
I am an B.Arch(Architect) and my wife is B.Tech(Software Engineer).
Before marriage, I have done sex with my wife and with my ex girl friend(that almost 5 yrs back from now).
We used to do lots of foreplay before sex to instigate. I used to insert my penis inside her vagina and give pressure. Even I keep on doing this for at least for 5 mins. In a night span, we used to do this 5-6 times after sometime rest in between. While inserting my penis inside her vagina, I started feeling pain in my penis and she also feel the same pain in her vagina. But still at the end, nothing works out.
One more problem which I am facing sir, even after inserting inside her, I have to masturbate for few moments to make my sperms comes out.
I never smoke sir. I used to drink once in 2 months.
Please kindly suggest sir. Its really getting annoying day by day.
I am an architect and my wife is a software engineer. I am overall satisfied with my job and there's only usual official work pressure and stress.
In the weekends me and my wife used to spend almost the whole day together. We used to go for outing, movies, shopping in the weekends.
I am an B.Arch(Architect) and my wife is B.Tech(Software Engineer).
Before marriage, I have done sex with my wife and with my ex girl friend(that almost 5 yrs back from now).
We used to do lots of foreplay before sex to instigate. I used to insert my penis inside her vagina and give pressure. Even I keep on doing this for at least for 5 mins. In a night span, we used to do this 5-6 times after sometime rest in between. While inserting my penis inside her vagina, I started feeling pain in my penis and she also feel the same pain in her vagina. But still at the end, nothing works out.
One more problem which I am facing sir, even after inserting inside her, I have to masturbate for few moments to make my sperms comes out.
I never smoke sir. I used to drink once in 2 months.
Please kindly suggest sir. Its really getting annoying day by day.
Brief Answer:
you do not have any physical problem,evaluation of wife is needed
Detailed Answer:
Hi,
Thanks for reply.
When you insert penis in vagina there is pain felt by both of you. That is the reason for your problem.
You have good erection and can masturbate well means you do not have any physical problem. Your wife should be evaluated for vaginismus or dyspareunia.
Vaginismus is uniquely characterized by involuntary tightness of the vagina due to the pubococcygeus (PC) muscles. With attempts at intercourse, vaginal tightness may cause sexual discomfort, sensations of burning, tightness, pain or inability to penetrate.
Dyspareunia is a medical term that simply means ‘painful intercourse’. It is a general term used to describe all types of sexual pain.
So she needs to be evaluated and examined.
- Do you (you and your wife) feel pain during intercourse every time?
- During five minutes strokes while your penis is inside vagina does she feel any orgasm?
- Does she have any gynecological (uro-genital) problem?
- Before marriage when you attempted sex was it successful?
- Is her hymen completely broken?
- Does she feel any apprehension about pain or discomfort before sex?
- What is her complain/problem/opinion about the situation?
I am waiting to help you further after your response.
you do not have any physical problem,evaluation of wife is needed
Detailed Answer:
Hi,
Thanks for reply.
When you insert penis in vagina there is pain felt by both of you. That is the reason for your problem.
You have good erection and can masturbate well means you do not have any physical problem. Your wife should be evaluated for vaginismus or dyspareunia.
Vaginismus is uniquely characterized by involuntary tightness of the vagina due to the pubococcygeus (PC) muscles. With attempts at intercourse, vaginal tightness may cause sexual discomfort, sensations of burning, tightness, pain or inability to penetrate.
Dyspareunia is a medical term that simply means ‘painful intercourse’. It is a general term used to describe all types of sexual pain.
So she needs to be evaluated and examined.
- Do you (you and your wife) feel pain during intercourse every time?
- During five minutes strokes while your penis is inside vagina does she feel any orgasm?
- Does she have any gynecological (uro-genital) problem?
- Before marriage when you attempted sex was it successful?
- Is her hymen completely broken?
- Does she feel any apprehension about pain or discomfort before sex?
- What is her complain/problem/opinion about the situation?
I am waiting to help you further after your response.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
Thanks sir for your reply.
Everytime when I insert my penis inside her vagina, both of us having an irritation feeling/pain in tip of penis and her vagina.
When we do foreplay to instigate our sexual feelings, then only her vagina gets wet and then I insert my penis inside her vagina. its remains wet when my penis goes inside her vagina.
My wife has serious problems of her menstrual cycles(periods), she never gets periods normally, she has to take medicines almost every time to make her periods.
Before marriage also, our sex attempts was not successful in the sense that we're not able to break our virginity.
My wife hasn't loose her virginity,so her hymen is not broken.
Both of us love to do sex so none of us have any fear for sex.
Both of us are getting frustrated and annoyed day by day regarding our present scenario.
When I insert my penis inside her vagina, she always remain more worried and aware and conscious in the thought that we need to break our virginity, so she doesn't thnik much of orgasm that time. Moreover according to my wife, her vaginal discharge is not satisfactory. In the 1st stroke, it remains good and which laterally goes on decreasing in the later strokes. I don't lick her vagina all the time in the foreplay, is it also responsible for her less vaginal discharge. She also have a skin irritation in her vagina after sex.
Please kindly suggest sir whether and how the vaginismus or dyspareunia of my wife can be cured? Whether we'll be able to have successful sexual intercourse ever and in future can we have our child.
Everytime when I insert my penis inside her vagina, both of us having an irritation feeling/pain in tip of penis and her vagina.
When we do foreplay to instigate our sexual feelings, then only her vagina gets wet and then I insert my penis inside her vagina. its remains wet when my penis goes inside her vagina.
My wife has serious problems of her menstrual cycles(periods), she never gets periods normally, she has to take medicines almost every time to make her periods.
Before marriage also, our sex attempts was not successful in the sense that we're not able to break our virginity.
My wife hasn't loose her virginity,so her hymen is not broken.
Both of us love to do sex so none of us have any fear for sex.
Both of us are getting frustrated and annoyed day by day regarding our present scenario.
When I insert my penis inside her vagina, she always remain more worried and aware and conscious in the thought that we need to break our virginity, so she doesn't thnik much of orgasm that time. Moreover according to my wife, her vaginal discharge is not satisfactory. In the 1st stroke, it remains good and which laterally goes on decreasing in the later strokes. I don't lick her vagina all the time in the foreplay, is it also responsible for her less vaginal discharge. She also have a skin irritation in her vagina after sex.
Please kindly suggest sir whether and how the vaginismus or dyspareunia of my wife can be cured? Whether we'll be able to have successful sexual intercourse ever and in future can we have our child.
Brief Answer:
multiple treatment approaches are there depending upon problem
Detailed Answer:
Hello,
Thanks for useful information.
Your wife has already some menstrual problem, worries regarding sex, inadequate lubrication.
First of all she needs detail check up by gynecologist. Ultrasound examination and hormonal investigations may be required.In any case her menstrual irregularity should be corrected.
She should also avoid anxiety as I mentioned before. She should not worry about pain during sex. She can take pain killer medicine like Diclofenac or ibuprofen before 2-3 hours of pain to avoid pain.
She can use water based lubricant jelly like KY jelly before sex for enough lubrication.
Pelvic floor exercises like Kegel Exercises should be done regularly to relax pelvic floor muscles and muscle around vagina.
She also needs detail sex counseling.
In conclusion she needs to be treated by gynecologist and sexologist/psychiatrist.
You both should go for couple sex counseling.You both need relaxation and assurance also.
I am sure that you can have normal sex life and your child.
If still any confusion you can ask without hesitation.
All the best.
multiple treatment approaches are there depending upon problem
Detailed Answer:
Hello,
Thanks for useful information.
Your wife has already some menstrual problem, worries regarding sex, inadequate lubrication.
First of all she needs detail check up by gynecologist. Ultrasound examination and hormonal investigations may be required.In any case her menstrual irregularity should be corrected.
She should also avoid anxiety as I mentioned before. She should not worry about pain during sex. She can take pain killer medicine like Diclofenac or ibuprofen before 2-3 hours of pain to avoid pain.
She can use water based lubricant jelly like KY jelly before sex for enough lubrication.
Pelvic floor exercises like Kegel Exercises should be done regularly to relax pelvic floor muscles and muscle around vagina.
She also needs detail sex counseling.
In conclusion she needs to be treated by gynecologist and sexologist/psychiatrist.
You both should go for couple sex counseling.You both need relaxation and assurance also.
I am sure that you can have normal sex life and your child.
If still any confusion you can ask without hesitation.
All the best.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
Thanks sir for your reply. As I always take slidenafil citrate tablets before doing sex, can I be a father or can do a successful sexual intercourse? The feeling of coming out of my sperm, doesnt occur when I keep on pushing my penis inside her vagina.Is it my drawback? Everytime I have to masturbate to make my sperms come out. Me and my wife, both of us are bulky in stature and physique, can't we become parents in bulky stature. My height is 5' 7" and weight is 80 kg, My wife heights is 5'4" and wights is 90 kg. I have a habit of masturbating once every night. Is it very harmful to become father in the long run.
Brief Answer:
You can be father with sildenafil,both need weight reduction
Detailed Answer:
Hi,
Thanks for asking about your doubts.
Sildenafil does not affect child producing capacity. It does not affect sperm count. Even it can help to be a father when there is erectile dysfunction.
You cannot ejaculate in vagina that is your major concern. For that you both need counseling as well as treatment as I mentioned. You mentioned that you masturbate daily.I suggest to stop masturbation/sexual activity for 1 week at least.This will create accumulation of semen in seminal vesicles. After that you should attempt sex. In that attempt you may ejaculate somewhat early due to storage of semen.
Masturbation is natural and normal thing. It is done by 95% of the males in the world, mostly before marriage as well as when wife is away, in menses or pregnant after marriage. It is not at all harmful. Frequency of masturbation done by an individual varies from once a day to once a week. It depends upon individual libido, wish and timing. It neither causes any weakness nor any problem in sexual activity. Even it is also not harmful to become father.
Thanks for mentioning your weight.You can be parents with obesity but it is risky. And obesity is likely affecting your sex life. You both need weight reduction and specifically your wife.Cause of her obesity is also needs to be found out. Her weight according to her height should not be more than 60 Kg.
For weight reduction diet planning, exercise, lifestyle changes and treatment of medical causes (related to her menstrual abnormality in her case) are needed. You need to ask her treating gynecologist to refer her to some nutrition specialist/dietician apart from doing necessary investigations for obesity.
Regards,
Dr.Chintan Solanki.
You can be father with sildenafil,both need weight reduction
Detailed Answer:
Hi,
Thanks for asking about your doubts.
Sildenafil does not affect child producing capacity. It does not affect sperm count. Even it can help to be a father when there is erectile dysfunction.
You cannot ejaculate in vagina that is your major concern. For that you both need counseling as well as treatment as I mentioned. You mentioned that you masturbate daily.I suggest to stop masturbation/sexual activity for 1 week at least.This will create accumulation of semen in seminal vesicles. After that you should attempt sex. In that attempt you may ejaculate somewhat early due to storage of semen.
Masturbation is natural and normal thing. It is done by 95% of the males in the world, mostly before marriage as well as when wife is away, in menses or pregnant after marriage. It is not at all harmful. Frequency of masturbation done by an individual varies from once a day to once a week. It depends upon individual libido, wish and timing. It neither causes any weakness nor any problem in sexual activity. Even it is also not harmful to become father.
Thanks for mentioning your weight.You can be parents with obesity but it is risky. And obesity is likely affecting your sex life. You both need weight reduction and specifically your wife.Cause of her obesity is also needs to be found out. Her weight according to her height should not be more than 60 Kg.
For weight reduction diet planning, exercise, lifestyle changes and treatment of medical causes (related to her menstrual abnormality in her case) are needed. You need to ask her treating gynecologist to refer her to some nutrition specialist/dietician apart from doing necessary investigations for obesity.
Regards,
Dr.Chintan Solanki.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
Sir, as I have mentioned earlier, both of us are working in corporate sectors, so we don't have much time for proper dieting and exercises to reduce our body weights. Is there any medication which we both can follow for reducing body weights. Even sir, I have many friends and relatives who even with their obesity have become parents. Is it very much essential to reduce weights to have successful intercourse or to become parents. Is there any medication process to normalize my wife's menstrual cycles(periods). Is there any process or medication to have better and increased/fertile sperm count.
Brief Answer:
Obesity is overall risky,spare time for yourself
Detailed Answer:
Dear friend,
Extremely sorry for delayed response due to internet service problem here.
Obesity does not only hamper sex life but it is one of risk factors for diabetes, high blood pressure and cardiac diseases.I can understand that current lifestyle does not allow us to spare time for ourselves. But we need to understand that health is first wealth. Most of us give excuse that we do not have time for exercise or diet management. However it is not like that in reality. Sparing maximum half an hour of the day is more than sufficient.So think on it and work on it.
Yes there are medicines to reduce weight. But they are indicated only when exercise and diet plan fail or some medical need as they have other serious side effects.
Yes with obesity we can live life and be parents. But later life is not so good.
It is not essential that to reduce weight for sex life or to be parents in terms of these motives. However according to my opinion to live healthy life overall for long run it is essential to reduce weight.
Your wife's weight is too high. Her body mass index (BMI) is around 34 which is too high and a big risk factor for diabetes, hypertension, eclampsia during pregnancy and it can affect fetus life also.
To regularize her menstrual cycles first of all her detail hormonal evaluation and ultrasound are to be done to find the cause. Many of the cases require OC pills to regularize menses however they are themselves contraceptive so you need to wait for pregnancy.
There is no specific medicine to increase sperm count.Healthy foods with rich in nutrients are sufficient. However you can go for semen analysis for confirmation that your sperm count is normal.
If feasible revert back to with reports.
Hope you have got the answer of each question.
Regards.
Obesity is overall risky,spare time for yourself
Detailed Answer:
Dear friend,
Extremely sorry for delayed response due to internet service problem here.
Obesity does not only hamper sex life but it is one of risk factors for diabetes, high blood pressure and cardiac diseases.I can understand that current lifestyle does not allow us to spare time for ourselves. But we need to understand that health is first wealth. Most of us give excuse that we do not have time for exercise or diet management. However it is not like that in reality. Sparing maximum half an hour of the day is more than sufficient.So think on it and work on it.
Yes there are medicines to reduce weight. But they are indicated only when exercise and diet plan fail or some medical need as they have other serious side effects.
Yes with obesity we can live life and be parents. But later life is not so good.
It is not essential that to reduce weight for sex life or to be parents in terms of these motives. However according to my opinion to live healthy life overall for long run it is essential to reduce weight.
Your wife's weight is too high. Her body mass index (BMI) is around 34 which is too high and a big risk factor for diabetes, hypertension, eclampsia during pregnancy and it can affect fetus life also.
To regularize her menstrual cycles first of all her detail hormonal evaluation and ultrasound are to be done to find the cause. Many of the cases require OC pills to regularize menses however they are themselves contraceptive so you need to wait for pregnancy.
There is no specific medicine to increase sperm count.Healthy foods with rich in nutrients are sufficient. However you can go for semen analysis for confirmation that your sperm count is normal.
If feasible revert back to with reports.
Hope you have got the answer of each question.
Regards.
Note: For more detailed guidance, please consult an Internal Medicine Specialist, with your latest reports. Click here..
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
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