DEAR SIR I AM 31 YEARS OLD. FROM MY CHILD

DEAR SIR
I AM 31 YEARS OLD. FROM MY CHILD HOOD I ATTRACT TO MALE NOT MALES BUT HEALTHY AND BEAUTIFUL MALES, NOW I AM MARRIED HAVING 2 CHILDREN. I AM NOW OUT OF COUNTRY SINCE 7 MOTHS, BUT I AM WATCHING GAY MOVIES AND MASTURBATE DAILY. I HAVE BACK PAIN AND FEEL TIREDNESS . I THINK I AM GAY, WHAT I DO FOR IT. I WANT TO CHANGE MYSELF , I HATE MY SELF BEING GAY. WHAT I DO. PLEASE HELP ME. I AM GETTING BOARDS AND DO NOT WANT TO ENJOY PEOPLES.