How Can Psychopathic Behaviour Be Controlled?

I do not know why this happens but I wanna die sometimes, you know to make everything easier, I know I could be real happy and successful one day, I have tons of friends, speak 4 languages, have a job, but is it all worth it? Someday I m going to die, not going to have any kids, a woman in my life sure, but for how long? I m getting a vasectomy in the future and let s get real, not many women would like not to have kids, and I wish that would be all but, sometimes I m afraid I m a psychopath, i can easily play with emotions, I know I m better than other people, not the best but for sure better, when I was in medical school I wouldn t have any respect for the dead person in the table, I mean, playing hot potato with the heart is indeed and tickling the toes while having the time of my life is definitely not the right way to do stuff, sometimes I would just like someone to hurt me so I can hurt them more, even kill them, not leave any trace of that someone, I would just want to know if it is normal, and sure I ve gone to psychology but honestly, who in their sane mind would tell them all to one?