How To Deal With Drug/alcohol Addiction While Having Diabetes 2 And Hypothyroidism?

Happy New Year are u really there this early? Anyway I ve had two sciatia operations, one 30 years ago that was great, the last one 5 years i was scheduled to be taken to operating room at 07:30 which was prompt but i woke up at 7 pm. My neuroligist said i bled from my brain and they had to stop it. I was in hospital 2 weeks with this hugs leggings for circulation and I cudnt get out of bed and my semi private room had a male in it and nightly he would have at least 20 visitors fm africa.. After 3 days i had to use the commode and his guests wudnt leave. I was so humiliated as the smell was terrible and I had never shared a room with a man. When his surgury was cancelled for the friday he wanted to stay all weekend but they wudn t allow it and they wudnt draw the drap and his g/f slept there every night and I had to list to then making love. The worst thing is that my doctor who I adored had decided to go back to Toronto as his wife missed her family. I am in Montreal but before he left he wrote a nice note saying I was doing fine. I went home and went i went for a walk (I am not the type to ready every article on health issues-why drive myself crazy)? I noticed my right foot which was the affected one really hurt and I felt i was crippled like it was dropping behind me. I have lost three jobs as I am bi polar 1 so I had to go on Disability fm the governement which is only 819.00 for 2 kids. They said I had to fill out all these documents which I am terrified of and when they say my neurologists one page tiny letter they refused my higher benefits.One because the neurolist left so soon and 2 my G.P, took almost2 years to fill his portion out after i kept asking him weekly. Plus I was in a day centre at the Allan Memorial Hospital and I cudnt sit still for one moment. I went through dozens of cocktails, pain killers. Now I have diabetes 2, hypothyroidism, i have no pituitary gland as i hadnt had a perion in 25 years due to purging.Now im on predizone, methodone, dillaudid 16 mg 75/week effexor 300mg xr and epival and Janumet. I cannot work I sleep continuously. I never know if i can make it thru a day. have tried suicide 4 x and I would like to know is there a place that can help a drug addict/alcoholic 58 year old woman get her life in order. I hate being stoneed. I told my G.P. that after xmas if he doesnt put me down im leaving him. I ve gain 60 lbs. and suffer from diareaha constanly and am bloated and my mom dies of ovarian cancer. Please help. ;30