My Mother Is Suffering From Stage IV Breast Cancer. Suggest Me A Remedy

Hello, My mother has dealt with breast cancer for almost 20 years and has been Stage IV for 8 years when Doctors removed one of her lungs as they thought it was lung cancer - after removal it was found to be breast cancer in her lung. Now it is all through her bones, liver and who knows where else; we are all too scared to imagine. She was just Dx with pneumonia with CT scan and given antibiotics and told if they don't help they will have to investigate further. A friend told me that CT cannot differentiate between cancer that has spread to the lung, or pneumonia, and I am not sure if that is true or not. My mothers breathing is shallow, her heart rate is ver high - oxygen level is around 80% when standing, but 98% when sitting doing nothing, so her QOL is declining, and her Onc says no chemo until she is stronger, but my mum is getting weaker. She's on the pain patch and oxycontin, but still has bone pain break through and nausea [probably from liver]. She's 77, and hides things from my Dad, us her 5 daughters, and her Oncologist . My Dad cannot find anything out from her Onc as she blocked that avenue - she's so stubborn, but she needs help. One sister and I have both been Dx with depression as this has gone on so long without any answers. We are so scared to imagine life without our Mother, but just as scared to hope for something better. We feel we are losing her and don't know it. Then we think we could be wrong. It's a terrifying place to be. Would having only one lung make my mother more weaker than a woman who had both? And why no chemo [Xeloda she was on for only 14 days] when she is getting weaker without it. I'm sorry, I don't understand all this and am scared for my Mom, and my family. Poor Dad is a wreck. Lucia