Need Advice To Overcome Anxiety And Fear Of Negative Pregnancy Tests

Hi, I am 32 years old and married for last 6 years. in 2001, i had tubercular ovarian cysts which were four in number and were quite big. Due to this, i had to take anti-tubercular for around 1.5 years. my periods were dark brown and dry in the beginning, but later fall back to the normal. I got married in 2005. In the first few months i was regular with my periods and after around a month or so...i started getting delayed...initially for a few days and then for around a month. I took doctors advice and got my self checked. Tests and reports tells that one of my F- tube (Left) is blocked and i also have some small cysts. I am gaining weight and often feel low. There is a continuous sever pain in lower back and hip on my left side. It pains when i stand up after a few minutes of continuous sitting. Also i often feel pain at my left lower stomach (i think its in ovary) but didn't go for checkup. Till now I couldn't concieve even once. Whenever my periods get delayed, I start thinking about the pregnancy and suddenly after 15-20 days periods would come. I avoid getting my self from the doc due to a fear that the test will come out negative. every month when the periods come, i get psychologically disturb and that affects my professional and personal life both. I do not know how to deal with it....I am fed up of taking medicines and all those painful and expensive medical test which often result in nothing.