Sexually Active With Partner Who Has Had Genital Herpes For Long Time. Get Self Tested?

Thank you, I am a 61 year old woman with Arthritis [inflammatory] and not much sexual experience. I had full hysterectomy . 2 years ago I met a man whom I fell in love with. He has had Genital Herpes for over 30 years and we have taken quite a few chances. To date, I havenot had an outbreak but did have a v nasty dose of what seemed to be Thrush a year ago. I went to a gynae . who specialises in Venerology but he said I was neurotic about a little bug and a coldsore in the wrong place I thought his attitude was cavalier, wondered how he would like it, also there is a huge Stigma. should I get tested ? I do try and use a condom most of the time but there is shedding, ive read all about that. Thanks Rosie [Dublin, Ireland ]