I am a homosexual indian boy living in Europe. I often find men to date. I am attractive(for average men). I do not indulge in sex, because I believe in a long term relationship in order to have an intercourse(there are other ways to satify each other, I don´t give my dates blue balls). But recently, I have stared liking an Indian boy, who was actually not my type, besides being a heterosexual. I fancy him a lot these days. We spend a lot of time together and I can´t really avoid him. Whenever I get back home, he shows up and finds a reason to hang out together. He probably sees only a good friend in me, but I can see only a good manly figure in him.It is not so obscure about my sexuality, but he doesn´t seem to read it on me. I personally did not feel to urge to justify my sexuality to anybody. He is not the best looking nor with the best body, but he possesses a good brain and a nice heart. He is also selfish at time, but since I am the only one around with whom he can share and/or discuss the books we read, he is nice to me and makes it up for his occasional stupid behaviour with me. I want to have him as a good friend but I often drift into thinking of him sexually even if I am with my good looking dates. What can I do? Secondly I have stopped masturbating for a more than a week, but I have many arousals each day. If I musterbate, I automatically shift into thinking of him, which I want to consciously avoid. Can you help me? Or even recommend me article, which would help me reflect upon my issue?
Regards