Suggest Treatment For Alzheimer's Disease

Hi, my family is completely torn on this issue. My Grandmother has pretty advanced dementia. Her mother, who has been suffering from Alzheimer's for a number of years now, recently had a stroke and is not expected to recover. The doctor who is caring for her says there is absolutely nothing that they can do for her. I don't know much about her condition, or how much time she might have. I don't think anyone has told my grandmother that her mother is dying.

On the one hand, this is her *mother*... Anyone would want to know what was going on, and be able to pay their last respects. I know I would, even if I didn't understand what was going on.

On the other hand, she is suffering from advanced dementia. She was recently moved into a home for dementia patients because she wasn't very aware any more. She was wandering, getting lost, and doing other dangerous things that she would not have done if her reasoning had not been affected. She quickly becomes restless and often walks away from us when we take her places. She still has striking moments of clarity, but they are few and far between.

How involved should she be? Seeing her mother requires a weekend pass and a six hour drive. Which is cruel in this scenario? Denying her the last possible opportunity to see her mother alive? Or subjecting her to the death of her mother when she isn't exactly able to coherently understand it? We are all torn on this one.