Suggest Treatment For Depression, Suicidal Thoughts And Tendencies

I need help! I am getting older, I am stuck with the memories of both my parents dying two weeks apart. I was under 7 years of medication, I was the caregiver and now I am having great set backs. My husband was not with me when I came home to an empty house, without him here with me. It has been 7 years and I woke up with all this drama that I would not have to face. I have doctors to vouched for me, but the problem is, my husband just don t get it! My personality is upbeat with other people, my husband has a problem of condemning me. I can t stand it. I am reaching out to a psychologist, to open up to. I so much want my life to begin with a new outlook, when I get it, my husband wants to condemn me more. He did not see what I had to see, I was the caregiver. Now after 7 seven years the will was probated not by me. but by my husband, only to bring me to my knees. I even tried to commit suicide. But, my faith in God did not allow me to. My husband and I are on the verge of divorce. I have gotten to the point I do not care. I have started to change my personality because of all the betrayal and pain. I even started to drink, which is not me, why am I unraveling? I will admit this is not me! I am concerned about me, my husband is constantly looking over my shoulders to see what I am posting. He is trying to be controlling , always has. I am willing to take polygraph test. He told me I would regret it. What is he so upset, when I am telling you how I am in the way of decline. I own my stuff. All I am guilty for is loving my parents. Please someone do the math . I cannot take this any more I think the only one that can relate to me is Robin, and how dr. Phil was towards her. Seem to me I am the problem. Am I?, and if so what, do I do?. I have written a book A House Divided Journey through a Caregivers heart. . I cannot get the images out of my head. I was told by my doctor I was so sedated for 7 years, and now just grieving. I am on a lower dose of medicine. I am willing to give you all my medical reports. I am crying out for help! It is in your hands now, I pray to God that this will stop. My husband blames me the most of how I am actin out. He does not have a clue what I am going through. Sincerely Sharon King Baumgartner. e-mail YYYY@YYYY .