Suggest Treatment For Depression,fatigue And Foggyness

Hi there, I’m going to stay anonymous, lol, I have a few issues in my life, I need to talk to someone, but it’s risky talking to anybody about my feelings, like my friends and family, it puts extra stress on me, because I’m always afraid that they will blab it all out and everybody that’s not supposed to know will find out.



So here I am, found this site by googling psychiatrist, I think I may be suffering from depression, but I’m not sure, I found a site that said you can have the same symptoms if you have an illness regarding gluten.



Let me start from the top, 3 years ago my Brother ended his life with Suicide, this was very unexpected and did quite a number on us as an family, my father is now diagnosed with bi-polar depression etc. In the last 4 years of my life I have met a lady, She is now my wife, I moved out of my parents house, changed my job 2 times, I think I must break this up in category's.



Starting with my brother. We had a very close relationship, but treated each other like crap, but there was no feelings of hate, just brotherly love, we always had a great laugh at the end of each day about the stuff we did and the day we had. I mostly took out all of my frustrations on him for some reason, I’m not good in expressing my feelings and always keep it to myself, I don’t want to hurt anybody so I just keep to myself if I don't like something. Well the morning of his death me and my brother smoked a cigarette together and off to work I went, I think I said to him that morning that he must now work hard at school because it’s an expensive private school that he was just starting, he had some trouble in school and struggled to pass and get along with the teachers. The note he left was that he is sorry and that he won't waste my parent’s money anymore and he love us.

Now that was a very very sad day in my life, till this day I still think of him and just want to talk a bit to him about my day and so, and I get very sad, from time to time.

ok so in a nutshell this is one of the big events in my life in the last few years.



Now my dad, he is a very good role model, but after my brother’s death he got very emotional and needy, it’s like he needs a daily fix for his emotions to be eased. He now is very persistent on family bonds, I love him dearly, he now drinks a glass or two of brandy everyday, which I think is starting to be a problem for his relationship with my mother, about 2 years back he got diagnosed with prostate cancer, which was also very hard on me, I couldn’t believe now my father stands a chance of dying after the whole thing with my brother. I didn’t want to go for the operation on the removal for his prostate, I saw in his way that he was speaking that he thinks it’s all right he'll be with my brother when he dies, and the risk in the operation was that he can die very quickly if the operation is not a success, so I told him to take the operation, the wait for death approach is a long and painful process and will only be draining on all, he must take the operation and if it’s not successful he'll die quickly and with less trauma and pain and can then be quicker with my brother, otherwise if it’s a success he will be with us for a long full life, so that convinced him to do the operation, and today he is cancer free and going strong, but was diagnosed a month ago with bi-polar depression which is hard on my mother and him. Ok and that’s my situation with my dad in a nut shell.



Now my Mother, Se is the most loving and caring person I know, I love her very much, she is selfless and caring. But this thing with my dad is eating her up inside, she feels left out and that all attention is going to my dad where she has the same problems and has to go through the same as my dad with him, I try to give her allot of attention to make her feel loved and I try to give her advice etc. She also has problems with my other brother, they always get into fights, they tend to misunderstand each other, my mother always wants to help, but my brother sees it as an attack towards him, ending up in a fight, my mother is full of stress and the doctor suggested that se go's for sleep therapy. Ok and that’s my mother.



My other brother. We also have a close relationship, but not that close, his also married, and he has 2 children, He always seek financial help from my parents, they are struggling a bit on the financial side, but my parents is always willing to help. I personally think that they and my parents see each other to much, coz they are constantly fighting over stuff, and it’s as if my brother’s childhood issues is still not resolved with them, he is a type of person who wants to feel in control and if given some advice, he will respond in a I know matter. He is the oldest, so he did not get very much in life, my parents was struggling financially when he was little and growing, with the effect that he feels that we got more in life and more leniency. He for example wanted a bike when he was younger, and was told that he can’t have one, but I got my parents to give in to letting me buy a scooter, and my younger brother got a bike. Now he is expecting my mother to buy him a bike, he is almost 30 and married. Ok but that’s my brother.

Now my job, I will get to my wife at the end, coz that’s going to be a long long piece.

At the beginning of my career I started to work for my uncle, I worked for him for 3 years, was quite happy there but he was a bit unreasonable and did not treat his workers with the respect needed, in this time I think in my 3rd year of work, I also met my wife, and my brother killed himself. This is where it all started, my not feeling motivated, and numb and tired all the time, and a foggy mind, but will get to that in the me section, but feeling unhappy I decided it’s because of my job with my uncle and I can’t stand his ways, so I found a new job, where also I was not satisfied, I started looking at the type of work that I’m doing, maybe it’s the wrong type for me, so I check into what will make me happy and got to the conclusion that noting attracts me. So I found another position closer to home at another workplace. Where I’m at now, still not feeling any better, there is some kind of thorn in my emotional wellbeing witch I just can’t get pulled. Ok so that’s work

Now me. As I remember myself before I met my wife and my brother and dad and all issues in my life, I was very calm and understanding, nothing got in my way, I never attacked anybody without first trying to understand where what they said came from and why, I was happy and outgoing, on weekends I socialized with my friends, having some drinks and partying, looking for some action :D I’m a man with a very high sex drive, but did not have very much sexual partners in my lifetime, I am to shy and don’t think as myself as a hunk or hot enough. But my life was perfect and fun. I have some issues on the sexual side, I firstly slept with one of my friends, it was a social event and was quite nice, we did this for a few years, and it faded as we got involved with other people, she is now married and has a child. But in my lifetime I had some experiences with same sex relationships as well. I had a boyfriend before I met my wife, and she knows about the involvement with a man, but in the relationship with the guy I decided that it was not for me, it’s too stressful and that the gay type of relationships was to loose and I was also attracted to girls. I now still have an attraction for guys, but also just as much for girls, but have no intention to have an relationship with a man, my attraction is purely sexual.

Now what bothers me is that my life has changed, I don’t feel happy anymore, I feel constant frustration, usually I would like to chit chat, but not anymore, if someone talks to me I get irritated and try to get the conversation over so I can do the stuff I want, my personality has changed completely, I’m not a very hard worker anymore, I’d rather sit and surf the web or do nothing alone. My patience was very long, everybody said that I can’t get mad and I’m a very pleasant person, but now, now I’m just frustrated and irritated and snaps at people. I was always a person who loved salty snacks, but now I can’t get enough of sweet snacks where I didn’t like it previously, I smoke a hell of a lot more, and when working, my head gets foggy and feeling weird, then it irritates me more and de-motivates me and then I end up doing no work. Ok that’s me then in a nutshell



My Wife..

Starting off with my relationship with my wife, we met on a social network called MXIT, I got her number from a friend and we chatted for months before meeting for the first time, her username was Phiebi lol, like the one from friends, but on the chat I loved her personality, when I met her we both had our eyes on someone else, but it faded and we got into a relationship, it was fun, but it was a bit frustrating, she did not want to have any sex before marriage, and I decided that I like her so ill give it a go, she had sex with her previous boyfriend, but as it seems it was not very satisfying, so 6 months in our relationship se decides to have sex with me, it was not great, coz she had to go to the bathroom during, so we stopped. So now I’m thinking, ok we have done it once, so it should more frequent from now on, but that was not the case, but ok, then she went for her studies to live a bit far from where I live, I could only see her on weekends, so I drove there every weekend, and we had a good time going out and sometimes doing the deed. But still it felt like she is holding a bit back on the relationship, and she was very controlling, but at that time it did not bother that much coz I only saw her on weekends, then I convinced her to move back and finish her studies closer, so the next year she moved back, but that was bad, she then got very cold, it felt a bit like she is excluding me, but she explained that it’s because she and her mother is not on a very good relationship, understanding I took it all, I started to go out for a drink after she left for her house on weekends, to get some me time, and doing the things I like, she was not much of an outgoing person, and she does not get along very good with my friends. We had our ups and downs, but never really fought about stuff, we sorted it out rationally, she once left me coz I told her that my smoking habit has increased and I think its coz of my depression about my brother, and she hates smoking. But after that I told her that I go out sometimes after I drop her off for some me time, she did not like it at all, but how do you tell someone you need some time for yourself, I mean we saw each other every night at that time, she then said that I don’t want to be with her, which was not true, but we got passed that. Then there was a time that I decided to leave her coz she can’t accept me for who I am, but that did not last very long, then I asked her to marry me and she said yes, ok from a manly point of view, according to me that would make any girl very emotionally attached and draw her closer to the guy, ok but nothing changed, same thing, and we did not have sex until the wedding which was alright with me, but she stopped kissing me as well and she didn’t show enough affection according to me, and her reason was stress because of her studies, so one night she was studying, and I went to my friend’s birthday, had allot to drink and cheated on her, I don’t know, it was as if I wanted to cheat before I got married, to be with someone else for a last time, and did not really feel that guilty about it, but she caught me when the other girl smsed me and se grabbed my phone, and I confessed the whole story and she was broken, me to, coz then I felt very bad and that I made a serious mistake. She left me briefly that day and we were able to get things patched up, but after that the relationship was shaky, she never showed love or didn’t want to kiss me anymore etc. but trying to earn her trust back I stop doing the alone time thing and give her all of my love and attention, but she after months still kept on bringing it up, and I encouraged her to go kiss another guy or do whatever it takes to get over it, but with no success, so I got fed up struggling and told her it’s over, I want be able to live with myself if she keeps on brining up that event and that is better coz she doesn’t even like that I smoke etc. But she was broken and I did not last a day then I took her back, with her promising to put this whole thing behind her and that she accepts my smoking. Then we got married, and ass tradition had our love making session on that night, and went on the honeymoon, this was very much fun but in the whole 2 weeks that we were on our honeymoon we only had sex 3 times, which includes the wedding day, this was odd to me, but ok I’m an understanding person so I won’t pressure her coz it might push her away.

Now we are almost married 2 years and I can almost count on my fingers how many times we had sex, she also wont kiss me intimately, I keep on trying but she keeps on rejecting my attempts. I tried to stop smoking, I stopped for about 2 months to see if the problem lies there, but there was no change, no kissing and no sex, so I started again, and then decided ok se must not find me sexy and have no sexual attraction to me coz I’m a bit overweight, so now I already lost 17kg’s and still if I am naked in front of her she won’t even look up to have a glimpse at me, and it’s wrong to expect that I know, but if she is naked I check her out from top to bottom coz she is very sexy in my eyes and to see her naked is like eye candy to me. But she is keeping me from seeing her naked these days, locks the door when she takes a bath etc. ok but that’s on the sexual and physical front.

Now on the emotional side, I’m totally in love with her, I try to get our relationship to where according to me it should be and according to what I hear some relationships are like, I try my best showing her that I love her, but it gets very hard, after a hard day of work I’m quite excited to get home to see her, when I get there, I’m not even greeted with a kiss or anything, just something like, I have a headache or I don’t feel well, or the house is a mess, or you must tell the dog not to jump.

She has an impression of me that she picked up when I was living with my parents, there I was messy and did not have respect for worldly objects. But as soon as I left my parents house I lived up to my responsibility, I do all chores and help everywhere in the house. But still after 2 years of not being messy she will still tell me to remember to wash the dishes or tell me don’t put your glass so close to the edge, I have told you before, and she keeps on treating me like a teenager, telling me to remember to hang the cloth up, and to hold the pot with both hands coz all let it fall. It’s getting to me now, I can’t take it anymore, the constant remember to do this and that, when I told her I want to go out to my friends bachelors she said that I must remember that I must not drive drunk in an intimidating voice.

She also has a very very tight grip on me, and I feel that I’m in a jail. I can’t go to my parents without her making a comment like do I really have to go, I don’t see my friends anymore, not alone for that matter and with her not very much as well, coz se doesn’t like to be home alone and does not like my friends very much and she is not a very outgoing person. So I’m stuck at the house every day of my life, we go out sometimes but if I have a drink, shell remind me not to drink too much and she don’t like drinking a drink coz it gives her some kind of pain in her stomach. So ja, I can’t do the thing that brings me a bit of release from the world and pressures. I can’t even work late without feeling guilty anymore, she will sigh or something when I have to work late, putting pressure and extra stress on me to finish up as quickly as possible. If I go to my parents I will be as quick as I can to not be away from home to long, otherwise she won’t be happy.

She always has something wrong, I have gotten to a point where I’m very rude to her when she tells me she is not feeling well, coz that means an irritated wife and that’s a daily occurrence, Im trying to be friendly and understanding to help lighten her mood but I can’t keep myself from getting mad after trying and trying with no success.

I these days do about everything I can in the house, when I get home from work, even if I work to 8 a clock at night and she is home by 5, I start making the food for the night, wash the dishes, clean up, give the dog food and water, check if all plants are wet, then I take a shower and get next to her in bed and start watching some series, and give her a back and neck massage every night. That’s all physical touch that she does not reject so I enjoy it, but sometimes try my luck for a bit more but that gets shot off with a sudden movement when I get close to parts that’s not on her back.

She also does her part, sometimes she makes food at night, and washes dishes, and she waters the garden outside, weekends I will work in the garden to try and get it finished, and I also do DIY stuff around the house to make all better.

In the mornings I will make breakfast for us both and lunch for the day at work and coffee, then I will kiss her bye and go to gym and try to get my body into shape so she can find me attractive. Then I go to work.

According to me she sees nothing wrong with our relationship, so I think the problem lies with me, that’s why I think I have depression, maybe my emotional problems is keeping making me feel these feelings towards her, I sometimes think I want to divorce her, and as soon as I have my body in shape and I have tried quitting smoking, and don’t see any change I am going to leave her. But I love her so it’s not easy for me to feel this way, I spoke to her about our physical intimacy problem, and she cried and I thought ok so now things will get better coz she knows what’s bothering me, but still we sometimes go 2 months with no sex, and I don’t know if this is normal but I need a lot of stimulation in that department coz I have a high drive, but she doesn’t even enjoy it, not even with all the toys we have bought to try and make it interesting. I don’t know if this is normal or that there is room for improvement but I can’t pressure her, then she would pull away even more, I once told her that there is aspects that we need to work on in our relationship, and she asked me what, so I asked her, tell me what you think is all wrong in our relationship, and she said that she doesn’t know, according to her everything is perfect, and that’s what makes it so hard for me, I feel a deep emotional connection and attraction to her, and maybe my expectations is measured based on that, coz what I experience is a coldish one-sided vibe from her, I give and give and give, but she won’t even touch me on her own, she won’t kiss me if I don’t kiss her, she won’t take my hand on her own, but still she says she loves me very much, but I can’t seem to see that, coz what I experience in my own emotions as love is not the same, it feels to me more that we are roommates, coz no kissing or physical connection and then the whole do this and that. Ok but that’s then all from the wife side.

I have decided to share this with you for some advice on what to do, Should I go see a psychiatrist for my problem s or a doctor to find out if I have gluten intolerance, where is my problem, the thorn in my emotions and well being? How can I feel better, how can I make my life better, or is this it, is this how it must be or will be forever?

I’m now 26 years old, and still want to go far in my life, but I’m struggling with this feelings of frustration and tiredness and foggyness

Thanks

Hope to year back from you