Dear Welcome to HCM We understand your concerns I went through your details. I suggest you not to worry much. This authoritarian way of behavior stems out from being stressed out. Borderline personality disorder is different. I quote Wikipedia - Borderline personality disorder (BPD) (called emotionally unstable personality disorder, emotional intensity disorder, or borderline type) is a cluster-B personality disorder, the essential feature of which is a pattern of marked impulsivity and instability of affects, interpersonal relationships and self image. The pattern is present by early adulthood and occurs across a variety of situations and contexts. Other symptoms usually include intense fears of abandonment and intense anger and irritability, the reason for which others have difficulty understanding. People with BPD often engage in idealization and devaluation of others, alternating between high positive regard and great disappointment.Self-harm and suicidal behavior are common. Therefore, anger and irritation alone cannot be termed as BPD. This could be stress. We need to find out the origin of the stress and motivate her to either adjust with it or to avoid that circumstance. In any case, she needs the intervention of a counselor or a well wisher whom she trusts. Let the reality enter inside her mind that her behavior is ruining the future of her own children. Definitely you shall see the change. If you require more of my help in this aspect, Please post a direct question to me in this website. Make sure that you include every minute details possible. I shall prescribe some psychotherapy techniques which should help you cure your condition further. Hope this answers your query. Available for further clarifications. Good luck.