Hi youngman,
Thanks for using HealthCareMagic.
You have narrated your problem very well.
I want to say you can surely come out of this problem.
From your narration I can say you have obsessiveness thoughts of dirtiness and compulsions to clean it or avoid it/things.These seems to be symptoms of
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder(
OCD).
treatment for the same is available.
SSRI medicnes can surely help.
But If I were your treating doctor, I would like to go for
psychotherapy. Specifically Cognitive Behavior Therapy(CBT) would help you a lot to get rid of this problem.At least six session of one hour each required. Medicines and psychotherapy can go simultaneously depending upon your choice.
If you can
consult psychiatrist on your own, that is best. If by chance you can't, without hesitation tell your problem to your father or any senior brother/uncle and ask them to take you to the psychiatrist.
So just relax and move forward. You can masturbate after treatment without any problem.
Hope I have answered your query, late me know if any confusion.
Regards,
Dr.Chintan Solanki