Dear Welcome to HCM We understand your concerns I went through your details. I suggest you not to worry much. Please try to understand. You do have moderate to severe depressive disorder and do not take self medications. You must try to sleep immediately. Otherwise, try to relax and engage in some activities which interests you. In the meanwhile fix an appointment with a psychiatrist as early as possible. No self diagnosis or self medication please, they are dangerous. If you require more of my help in this aspect, Please post a direct question to me in this website. Make sure that you include every minute details possible. I shall prescribe some psychotherapy techniques which should help you cure your condition further. Hope this answers your query. Available for further clarifications. Good luck.