I have a very big problem with mood swings and it caused me to breakup with so many people. One day i like someone and the next I don t, it s even like one minute i like you and the next I don t. I lost interest in everything and nothing seems to make me happy. I also have a problem with not being able to put my thoughts into words. I can t even say what I m exactly feeling or something close. I think of killing myself or hurting myself sometimes to get rid of this overthinking and stress. I just tried everything i can to feel happy with what i am doing and to be happy with my life, but I couldn t. No one in my family is mean to me or anything and i m not being forced to do something I don t like, but nothing seems to please me. Sometimes i think everybody else is ahead of me and i m so behind like i m so useless or so fucked up and like insane and bizarre. Sometimes my head won t stop thinking that i want to kill myself. Sometimes time is so so so heavy on me that i want to kill myself. I faced some problems with relationships at a very young age like i dealt with heartbreak when i was very young and since then I changed completely or maybe that s just me i don t know, but the main thing now is that i met a guy couple of years ago and he s amazing to me and just so nice and loves me, but I didn t like him back then and after 3 or 2 years i felt like i love him and i want to be with him (it was like back and forth during those 3 years) like this is the first time for me to feel like i really want him for real, but it s like i m happy for 2 days and then i hate him and then i like him etc and i WANT to be in a healthy relationship, but I don t seem to like ANYONE or feel happy with anyone! I meet guys who are very good, but I don t like anyone anymore it s crazy! He s so nice and kind to me, but I don t what s wrong. I like him, but sometimes I don t? sometimes i really really love and want him, but sometimes i want to leave him. I m scared this would lead me to be alone and single forever because I don t seem to like someone for more than two days and i m scared of rejecting amazing people till I can t find them anymore and miss good chances for a happier life with a good guy