Dear Welcome to HCM We understand your concerns I went through your details. I suggest you not to worry much. I sincerely suggest that you are doing great. You went through a traumatic and depressive ordeal. For sure. No amount of consolation can equal your fate. But you also should understand that such things happen with almost everyone. Everyone loves their better half or spouse. When such things happen,, even when they were at young age, it is normal for them to go through some depression. But they shall understand that they have to move on. They have duty to do. Secondly, you were doing the same for the last three years. That is great. If you have any mental disorders, you cannot do so. You must add to your self confidence. What you can do now is, understand what life is. Even you are a guest here. Your spouse went because his time had come. When your time comes, you shall also join him. That is life. Depression is normal, but we should overcome our emotions. Everybody, every human being does. Then why not you? If you require more of my help in this aspect, Please post a direct question to me in this website. Make sure that you include every minute details possible. I shall prescribe some psychotherapy techniques which should help you cure your condition further. Hope this answers your query. Available for further clarifications. Good luck.