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Dr. Andrew Rynne
MD
Dr. Andrew Rynne

Family Physician

Exp 50 years

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27 Year Old Female, Should I Plan For A Child ?

Should i plan for a child or give up for my partner I am 27 yr old and my hubby is 33 now. we have been married for 6 years. We never planned for a kid till now. my partner is not very keen about having a child at all. he has a very different personality and dont think its important to have a child, justs coz every1 has. I personally think now its a right time for us. we both have grown up as a person and in our relation too. He says he would/will give me a baby only coz i want one. but he dont want me complaining about nething later. I dont know what to do. I dont wanna force him into this. but i dont know how i will convince myslf and our parents[as they have been very understanding , never interfering..but having some hope to hold their grandchild soon as we both are our parents only child]. and i also know, nothing can change his mind. He is very sensitive, emotional and gets mentally stressed easily.
Tue, 18 Jan 2011
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Psychiatrist,  's  Response
Hi,

You seem to be between scylla and charybdis.

If you had not said he would not change, I would have suggested some counselling sessions with a counsellor or even a family well wisher, who both of you trust and respect.

I would suggest the same even now.

I think you should try finding out, with help or by yourself, why he does not want children etc and try and see if you can address some of his concerns.

If even that does not work, then you may have to decide between going for a child and taking all the responsibility with the full understanding and some hope that he may change (some do) or deciding if you would be happy to go by what your partner wishes.

whatever decision "you" make, it has to be one which will keep you happy as well, as a sad person can not keep others happy for long.

Best of luck
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27 Year Old Female, Should I Plan For A Child ?

Hi, You seem to be between scylla and charybdis. If you had not said he would not change, I would have suggested some counselling sessions with a counsellor or even a family well wisher, who both of you trust and respect. I would suggest the same even now. I think you should try finding out, with help or by yourself, why he does not want children etc and try and see if you can address some of his concerns. If even that does not work, then you may have to decide between going for a child and taking all the responsibility with the full understanding and some hope that he may change (some do) or deciding if you would be happy to go by what your partner wishes. whatever decision you make, it has to be one which will keep you happy as well, as a sad person can not keep others happy for long. Best of luck